Sassy2724
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« Reply #15 on: January 25, 2008, 05:23:16 PM » |
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I read this thread and had to respond. It seems as though you're seeking a certain level of worth from your affiliation with MK. I'm going to be real here, but understand I'm not trying to hurt your feelings. The self worth/praise that you're seeking won't come from your MK upline with the way you work your business. As someone else mentioned above, the entire plan is designed to keep you wanting what they have. Your director/SD won't do a challenge where you get a prize for placing a minimum order; the point is to get you to order way more. They know that we seek acceptance or motivation of some sort (for me it was prizes, which turned me off rether quickly after I saw they weren't worth it). Your "small monthly whsl orders be as valued as the hot shot who puts in a one time big order or has a couple $1000 weeks and then dies off" isn't going to happen because if they rewarded you at that level, fewer people would purchase at the Hot Shot $4 grand-plus order level. Directors know how to make you aspire to want what it looks like they have. You know firsthand- don't be decieved. If you want to keep working MK, fine. But don't trade places with the struggle you already see your family memeber going through. I would suggest setting up a system to reward yourself. Create your own challenges and pick out rewards/prizes you think are cool (ex. If I acheive goal "X", I'll reward myself with an hour long massage at the spa or a nice dinner with DH). You don't need to be lured into directorship to make yourself feel validated. You say that you're a Team Leader. If you really feel the need to note your accomplishements in an "MK" way, try setting some sort of goal for just you and them. As the TL, you can plan the reward (ex. you'll all go out to dinner together, etc.) and you can still feel recognized for your contribution. I would hope that you find another outlet for reward/recognition if that's what you're truly seeking. Try signing up for a creative wirting class/group or rediscover a hobby you're good at. I hope you will look inside yourself to discover the self worth you're seeking, rather than continuously invest in MK in the hopes that they will provide you with validation. Okay, again, it's a bit wordy and I hope it doesn't sound mean (  ) Best of luck and for what it's worth; I think you're tops no matter what!  |
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Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?
Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that... -George Carlin
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« Reply #15 on: January 25, 2008, 05:23:16 PM » |
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pynkpanther
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« Reply #16 on: January 27, 2008, 01:19:38 PM » |
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I just wanted to thank you all for your insights and compassion. Some you expressed that you hope you weren't coming across as harsh or mean, you needn't have worried because I appreciate directness and honesty. I had a couple of reasons for writing, one is to tell you about a couple of things that I've done to implement the suggestions made and the other to share a painful epiphany that I had.
I was a many times a day Unitnet visitor (if I told you HOW many times you'd be shocked). These sites feed people like me the desire to be among the "big girls" and re-inforce over and over the very ideas that I'm trying to erase from my conciousness. So I deleted all 30 (???) of the sites I had access to and only kept 2 , my NSD's and my Sr. Director's.
I have a whole directory of NSD conf call numbers that I used to listen in to and deleted those as well. Yes these are small steps, baby steps really- but for me they are important ones.
Now the epiphany. In todays PC world I hope it's okay if I now take a spiritual turn. I really examined myself over the last 24-36 hours and came to a painful conclusion. I've been blaming this need for MK approval and validation on my esteem issues, but in reality, for the most part it is a spiritual deficit, a spiritual void I am experiencing and I was trying to have MK fill it. That thought was frightening to me. I've known for a while that my prayer life is practically non existent, my Bible reading was very sporadic and my attendance at my religious services were hit and miss, it's been that way for a while. But here was my "Aha" moment. As my spiritual life was dying, my "need" for MK approval seemed to increase exponentially. Coincidence? I think not! In fact and this is truly shameful. I had been afraid to pray and ask for God's direction for fear that He would led me out of MK. I have gathered and listened to countless pieces on information on "The Secret", affirmations, visualizations, etc., etc., etc. instead of being on my knees, submitting my will to God's, asking for His direction and then asking for His strength to carry it out.
All of this makes me feel so ashamed, I gotta lot to work on and work out. Thank you for allowing me to express myself and for being a soft place to fall.
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Curious, and Missy too!
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« Reply #17 on: January 27, 2008, 01:36:00 PM » |
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Please know that you are not alone in this, pynkpanther. God is with you and I suspect more than just a few of us have traveled this exact same path.
Thinking of you...
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Lipstick
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« Reply #18 on: January 27, 2008, 04:45:07 PM » |
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pynkpanther, don't be so hard on yourself. There are many good Christian women in MK, unfortunately there are also many who masquerade as good Christians. God is always there waiting, I have learned that and He welcomes you back with open arms! Prayers and positive thoughts being sent your way!  |
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We can't always be "happy"; but we can always choose to be thankful and joyful whatever the circumstances.
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Tam
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« Reply #19 on: January 27, 2008, 11:09:36 PM » |
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pynkpanther
It sounds like He was with you all along, with your honesty with your recruits! A lot of us DID NOT have that! Perhaps you just didn't know it. Best of luck running YOUR business YOUR way!
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Sassy_C
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« Reply #20 on: January 28, 2008, 08:47:47 AM » |
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PP, Don't feel ashamed! You've figured out what many people don't in MK.....Feel joy in the release of the "need to succeed" in MK! Sounds like you have a strong religious moral base that will help guide you through the MK cleansing process! Plus we'll be here too!  |
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Sally
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« Reply #21 on: January 28, 2008, 04:48:31 PM » |
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PynkPanther..
YOu have stated yourself that you have a yearning.. a need.
In other words you have an emotional hole that need sfilling. Believe me.. Mary Kay will not fill it. Your upline succeeds only by preying on your emotional needs.
But in my heart of hearts I can sense that you are not only going to stay in Mary Kay.. fine , okay, ....but you are for awhile going to neglect a prayerful seach into your emotional needs and a way to have those needs filled.
Please explore more possibilities. REACH outside yourself.. give of yourself to others not only in your caretaking.. but even more.. take a giant leap.
Eventually you will be found by the sense of fulfillment you seek.
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NatashaYahnee
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« Reply #22 on: January 31, 2008, 06:38:54 PM » |
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Need some input from someone who has walked my walk and will understand my screwed up thought processes. I have reluctantly come to the conclusion that in my heart of hearts I don't really want Directorship, what I do want is the camraderie and I'm embarrassed to admit this- the respect and atention that they get in the MK world. I have been in MK for a few years, I was recruited by a family member and because I am close to this person I have gotten a true bird's eye view of what being a MK Director is all about. She lost her Unit a couple of months ago, She has just been called by the company, they are about to take her "free" car. She only made Car production once in 24 months and has had to make co-pays. She has borrowed over $5000 from me and my husband ( and more from others) to make up Unit production, to make car co-pays and even for living expenses and still owes us over $3000. But right now with the same dead, non working team (former Unit) she had when she stepped down, she is already planning to go into DIQ again and will go into car production at the end of the month. What happened? She has a new recruit who put in a $4200 order and added to her personal whsl production she can do both. She is the hardest worker in MK that I have ever seen and yet I watched her on the treadmill, seeing the frustration, seeing her reap nothing for her efforts, sometimes not even having money to eat. She used to meet with 3 other Directors in her Area, 2 of them also lost their Units and one is about to file for bankruptcy, being over $50,00 in debt!
But here is the sick part. I saw what this is all about, I know that this is all smoke and mirrors... But I still envy the attention she got and is getting again. I envy the attention she gets from our NSD and Director. It angers me that as a family member she couldn't room with me at Seminar or at a retreat because I was a "mere Consultant".. a "mere Consultant" who was funding her Car and Directorship! I plod along, selling enough to contribute about $300 a month to my family budget, I'm a TL with 2 women on my team of 6 who are doing about the same thing but I'm made to feel that somehow I'm not measuring up.
The idea of Directorship exhausts me, constantly trying to cheerlead, motivate, paint a vision, teach, train, yada, yadda, yadda. So then why do I envy someone who holds a position I really don't even want? If you have dealt with this please tell me how you overcame it , I need solutions more than anything else.
Wow, my heart really goes out to you. And yes, the attention and recognition can be addictive but there are so many more positive ways to meet that need for recognition. Think of all the people in the world who need a friendly face and a warm smile. I'm sure that there are plenty of volunteer opportunities in your area where you can make a difference in someone's life and be appreciated and applauded. MK is all about getting but the best rewards in life come from those times when we are giving. |
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Lipstick
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« Reply #23 on: January 31, 2008, 09:22:02 PM » |
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pynkpanther, MK teaches everyone to look for the "need" and then show the potential recruit how MK fills the need. After you start attending meetings, you get sucked into the pink vortex with all the scripted verbiage that makes you feel like you are doing what's right. You get hooked on the recognition and the prizes and therefore are buying more product to get more of what you need. The prayers, scripture quoting and constantly spouting MK's vision as God 1st, family 2nd and career 3rd and the Golden Rule, are designed to lead you to feel you are doing the Christian thing by being in MK. It's part of the big deception. When you stop to think about the things you used to do that are now being pushed out by the MK things, you will realize what you REALLY need and what you are REALLY missing in your life. Follow your heart and your gut feelings, they will not lead you astray. I understand how you can become addicted to UnitNet and other such websites, because you are chasing the "Dream" and searching for what these so called "successful" women are doing to become directors. I have heard others say that MK is like a cult and at first I didn't believe it, but it is in the essence that it slowly takes over your life and suddenly you find yourself entrenched in MK and everything about MK, whether it is booking, selling, recruiting, attending meetings, workshops, etc. etc. The reality of it is that those who are successful have learned to use others to move them up into Director, NSD, because without new blood coming into the company and buying the product nobody makes anything! Sadly the real money being made is at the Corporate level, because everything MK does is geared towards making them money, not helping you sell their product to make YOU money. pynkpanther, I hope you will hang around and read more before you decide that staying in MK is what you want to do. As Natasha, Sally and Sassy have said, there are other places you can fill your needs without MK. MK may temporarily fill a need, but it will eventually empty your pockets and leave you feeling that your lack of success is YOUR fault not theirs. My heart goes out to you!  |
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We can't always be "happy"; but we can always choose to be thankful and joyful whatever the circumstances.
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pinkcaddy
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« Reply #24 on: January 31, 2008, 09:50:23 PM » |
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I have gathered and listened to countless pieces on information on "The Secret", affirmations, visualizations, etc., etc., etc. instead of being on my knees, submitting my will to God's, asking for His direction and then asking for His strength to carry it out.
PP - since you are a Christian I can totally speak to this problem. Listen up, because this evangelical has been right where you are, and learned something pretty scary (to us, at least). "The Secret" is based on a New Age metaphysical belief system, in which you send out positive energy (brain waves) that go and get what you desire. They go out in the universe, and return with what you asked for. This is not a new idea - been around forever. When I started MK, I got a book called "The Secrets of Super Selling" - which was recommended by my upline. I read it and was blown away, with all the visualizing, repeating, sending out your positive brain waves into the universe, blah blah blah. I actually tried to do the exercises, not realizing at first how absolutely CONTRARY this stuff was to what I claimed to believe as a Christian. It was only after I did this for a few days, that I realized something just wasn't right in my soul. It took a while to really analyze WHAT specifically was so screwed up. I instinctively knew that this positive energy waves/universe stuff was not right (to me), and quit doing it. It was only after I started looking into this, that I figured out what that stuff was based on. I thought I was reading a book on sales secrets! That's not what it was at all! So I've been there. You know I felt totally ashamed afterward and just wanted to kick my stupid ass up and down the street once I realized what I'd been doing. BUT....something good came out of it. I was a lot smarter, to say the least. And it drew me closer to the One I truly wanted - because you know that what He gives is always way better than what we give ourselves. And it has been nothing but good things since then. So you need to look at this as a learning experience. PM me if you want to talk about this more, I have more I can say but it might be too religious for some. Ha ha. |
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MLM sux.  |
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fightingfatigue
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« Reply #25 on: April 23, 2008, 06:16:53 PM » |
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Pynk, As a former director, I can honestly tell you that the picture of directorship that is being painted and flaunted in front of you and other consultants is not what directorship is really about. Believe me, the attention many of these directors are getting is not the kind of attention that you would want because they are not earning their positions the right way. What's the point of having attention if it is not based on truth or real life? Best of luck to you!
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Tam
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« Reply #26 on: April 24, 2008, 09:18:05 PM » |
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Pynk -
I am still current but just a IBC. When I started - 1 yr ago, I felt I had to be a star, at least a saphire, then I had to do better, at least a ruby (twice). Start of 4th quarter was my eye opener when I got that cc statement!
That's when I reviewed MY GOALS and revised my ordering to fit THOSE goals!
I attend meetings (when I want) and still do "my" business, I just work toward MY GOALS - not the SD's - she actually wanted us to do 10 classes / week. I told her I was only working MK 6 hrs week. That's it. If someone calls me for an order, I'll take care of them but I do NOT work MK 24/7!
I don't know if that helps you or not but all these challenges they run now, doesn't bother me at all not completing them. I turn in my faces for the month with 14 names, 12 names, whoever I honestly did, and don't care. My SD tells me, if you'd just done 1 or 3 (whatever #) more!!! Well, I didn't, so ...
Just re-visit YOUR PERSONAL GOALS and work towards them! (Hope that helps!)
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zaid
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« Reply #27 on: April 25, 2008, 12:54:52 AM » |
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I know what you feel. I too wanted to be a Director so bad, for the recognition. I applaud that you are working your business with honesty. The so called dream cost me dearly. It cost me my marriage and so much more  . Thank God that I found a good honest man that helped me with my self-esteem  . Because after MK everything was upside down. I found this website because I was thinking of going back because I felt lost after 9 years trying to do it. But reading everything that was being said I finally realize that alot of women felt the same way I did.  |
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Live, Laugh , Love
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fightingfatigue
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« Reply #28 on: April 25, 2008, 11:18:24 AM » |
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The push and pressure that is put on women to get to director quickly is one of several things that is making Mary Kay's reputation suffer. It is all about doing it fast, do it now, be part of the "DIN Club", slow is hard, fast is easy, yada, yada. I heard this crap so much I thought I would puke. In our area where I live our FESD and directors were really pushing doing it fast. In just a little over one year's time, my FESD had 7 or 8 new directors offspring (this was 1st, 2nd and 3rd lines - I was her 3rd line). Then in about two years or so, they ALL, with the exception of 1, fell off.
I really believe if you want to make it as a director, you need to take the time to build your customer base and build your team while you are building a strong customer base and not recruit everyone that breathes.
Do not enter DIQ until you have earned the car or cash and see that you can maintain it for at least a year. Enter DIQ when you have about 15 or 20 active recruits. That still doesn't mean the director will succeed, but I think the foundation of her business will be stronger.
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gothchiq
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« Reply #29 on: November 04, 2008, 10:07:42 AM » |
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Let me propose a solution.
You want recognition and camaraderie? You can have it and it can be genuine. Forget that MK claptrap. Here's how I do it:
Meet friendly ppl by joining locally based email lists or meetup groups pertaining to interests you have. Once you figure out who you click with online, invite them to meet you for coffee or lunch on a weekend. Now the stage is set: Throw a party. Short on money for entertaining? Make it potluck. You cook or bake whatever your specialty or favorite signature dish is. Have everyone bring their favorite board games or card games. Let them bring a friend or significant other with them. They will have a fabulous time and you will get credit for bringing them all together and providing a fun atmosphere. Every 3 or 4 months, throw another party. You'll meet tons of cool people and they will all love you and compliment you. They will look forward to your gatherings.
This is pretty much foolproof.
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xoxo
Gothchiq
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