teammom
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« on: April 11, 2008, 09:48:41 AM » |
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Does anyone else here work with their hubby? We own a busines together and it seems like the longer we are in business the less I feel like his wife and the more I feel like his business partner. For example, this morning he called at 7:30 to talk to me about a payroll issue that I can't fix and I sure can't fix while I'm getting three kids ready for school! It's like he doesn't think about boundries anymore just calls me for anything anytime and expects me to want to talk about work even at 10 at night! Soooo - anyone have any insight - it's driving me nutz and getting worse every day!
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Pink Lighthouse Lounge
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« on: April 11, 2008, 09:48:41 AM » |
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LisaLisa
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« Reply #1 on: April 11, 2008, 10:34:04 AM » |
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I'd tell him your working hours are from X to X. Work stays at work. Home stuff stays at home.
The end!
HUGS! Good luck!
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upyourcadillac
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« Reply #2 on: April 11, 2008, 12:02:53 PM » |
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I agree with Lisa.
If you are business partners as well, you need to define business hours. No one can work 24 hours a day nor wants to.
When my husband worked (and we didn't work together) we had a rule that after 6:00 we couldn't talk business, meaning no more work talk. Had to decompress and have an evening.
You need to set the same rules, it sounds like. Plus, you need to make sure that you aren't interrupted when you are trying to care for the kids at crucial times of the day.
And if you set boundaries, like no calls before 9:00 a.m. because you're dealing with kids, and he still calls you then, DON'T take the call. Let it go to voicemail and return it ONLY when you are comfortable doing so. Make sure to preface such calls with an explanation of why you didn't take his call so he will (hopefully) get the hint.
"Hi dear. I'm sorry I couldn't answer the phone when you called earlier. That's the time I get the kids ready for school. Just returning your call now that I can."
Something like that...
Hope that's somewhat helpful.
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momontherun
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« Reply #3 on: April 11, 2008, 12:24:25 PM » |
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I work with mine, since his assistant left a couple years ago. It was actually always our plan that eventually I would do it, and when the stars aligned (his assistant moved away and we had kids going to college), we decided it was best to keep all our money instead of paying somebody else.
That said, I discovered that my husband didn't work a whole lot and his assistant had basically been doing everything while he goofed around coaching baseball for ten years. For the first year it was like we both had part time jobs, but unlike his former assistant, I could clearly see that he was being catered to both at home and at the office, so I put a stop to that pretty darn fast.
Anyway, now I have him back working full time and I'm just going in very part time right now until he actually needs me more. It's forced him to do a lot of the little crap he doesn't like to do....but he also doesn't like to wash his own clothes, so he's rather I do that than let it all go to crap at home.
That doesn't really help in your situation, but I always pull the "who do you think is going to keep this place from falling apart if you expect me to be at your beck and call at the office?" when he needs a reality check.
I'd say you probably need to sit down and review expectations. That's what we did after I felt like I was wasting my time doing stuff he could easily do himself, but just didn't want to.
I could say more, but gotta run. I'll see if I can actually think of something helpful.
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Frontloading is not a new thing....me and MK, we go waaaay back. $1,800. My basement. 18 years ago.
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teammom
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« Reply #4 on: April 11, 2008, 04:21:50 PM » |
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Good advice ladies! And after stewing this morning I did decide to not answer the phone until at least 8 AM when the kids are out the door. Baby steps. I think I have trained him to this point to call me for everything and now I need to get him to think before dialing (like he will call me at work to give me a phone number to call someone to change an appt or something. Well - why not skip me and call the person yourself?!?). I will have to be patient while he relearns stuff. On the bright side - he did call to take me out to lunch so that was nice.
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Sassy_C
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« Reply #5 on: April 19, 2008, 09:18:05 PM » |
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How's work going teammom? Just wondering if things are improving?
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teammom
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« Reply #6 on: April 22, 2008, 09:20:11 AM » |
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Been going well - we got through tax season  and he hasn't been calling me at home as much. I'm even taking tomorrow off completely to paint the hallway! We hired someone to do some of his work too so he has more time in the office, which helps. I did have a day about April 10 when he was in the office with me all day. Normally that is a really productive time for me because I can bounce things off of him right away, but he was also generating a lot of work for me at the same time! Finally when he brought in yet another contract for me I said, "NO MORE! I HAVE DEADLINES LOOMING AND YOU MAY NOT PUT ANYTHING ELSE ON MY DESK UNTIL I SAY SO!!!". He sort of laughed because I can usually keep up with everything but then I explained that I had quarterly employment reports, all of the accounts payable and first quarter taxes that had to get out in the next two days and his work will have to wait until I have mine done. He said (joking!) Well then I'm going back into my office to work and DON'T TALK TO ME - I'M BUSY, TOO!!! We laughed and quit talking to each other for the rest of the day (in a good way). I think he understood where I was coming from and it sure felt good to crank out those nasty tax reports! |
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Sassy_C
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« Reply #7 on: April 22, 2008, 07:27:08 PM » |
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Good to hear that everyone's playing nice!  Enjoy your day off! Have fun painting!  |
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SubtleSpyglass
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« Reply #8 on: September 23, 2008, 05:44:33 PM » |
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While we're not married, my bf and I work in the same store together. It can be kind of fun, while at other times kind of stressful. We work in the same department, although my hours in the department are his days off. Any other days, I'm working front end while he's back end, so we don't see much of each other except on breaks. It can be quite interesting working with your SO
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"Faith is the great cop-out, the great excuse to evade the need to think and evaluate evidence. Faith is belief in spite of, even perhaps because of, the lack of evidence. " -Richard Dawkins
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id girl
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« Reply #9 on: September 23, 2008, 08:49:48 PM » |
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I worked with my hubby when we were first married and loved it! Then, once we graduated college, we had different jobs, but for a while, worked in the same small town and could see each other alot. I loved it and would cherish the opportunity to work with my husband. I envy that you have that opportunity. I miss my husband during the day when we are not together. We no longer work in the same town, but we work about an hour apart, now and barely have time to talk on the phone once a day. I am very thankful for the time that we had to work together. Try to talk about work as much as possible when you are at work and set some rules not to talk about work once you leave there. Talk about hopes, dreams, your future, things that you want to do when you retire. But cherish that time together. Many couples don't get that opportunity!
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