This is a tough, tough situation.  My cousin was schizophrenic and terrorized her younger sibling.  It was a very bad situation.  The only advice I can give is to remember that every child in your family needs your love and try to find a support group of other parents.  That can really help.

You've got it...lots of prayer coming your way!  I'm sorry your family is having such a rough time lately.  I'll be praying that you and your daughter's docs can find a solution that works for her and makes things easier for your boys, too.

Aw geez, you guys are making my eyes water.  Thanks so much, we really could use all the prayer we can get.  I'm a firm believer in that verse that says "where 2 or more gather together (does it say in prayer? or in agreement?) there I (God) am in the midst of them".  Boy I guess I should brush up on that,  .  I'm really grateful for all your encouragement and support, thank you so much.  ::      

I'll definitely have you and your family in my prayers! 

RTP -

Have the doctors considered behavior meds?  My son is autistic & was getting extremely aggressive.  His pediatrician started him on risperdal (there are some risks involved & I realize some parents are totally against medicines) but we do not function without it !  When I lost 2nd job (insurance) I applied for a medical card (denied) but was sent to local comprehend / pathways / mental health clinic - they have a program in our state, where the drug co.'s will cut costs of payment & finally, DH got a job with insurance.  You may want to check to see if they have any treatment programs available (out-patient) that she could attend.  You and your family will be in our prayers!     I know, from our experience, that it is not an easy road.  Bless you all!

RTP, thanks for the update!  I have been thinking of you and your family a lot lately and praying for some solution.  I have a brother who is a recovering alcoholic and drug abuser, but he is bipolar and manic/depressive, from years of abuse and the chemical imbalance. he is on Prozac and Lithium.  Lithium is pretty tricky to get the right dosage and it has some side effects that have to be monitored with regular blood tests.

I know that is not your situation, so I didn't mean to imply that your daughter has done anything to cause her problems.  It is so hard until they get the right combination of meds to help control the symptoms.  I do continue to pray for you and your family and that you would find some relief and some peace!     

Haha, yes a lady at children's services (I called asking for help a few weeks ago - opposite probably from most families who fear their involvement) told me the magic words were about no longer being able to keep ppl safe in her presence - in my case, my 2 younger sons.  Well, that's not totally the case - er, that is, we deal w/ it on our own.  Sometimes that means getting either her or them out of the house pronto so no more verbal/emotional abuse can be incurred (from her to them).  She's only 11.  Crazy huh.  It's kind of complicated since she has a history of physically abusing them.  It makes them that much more afraid when they sense she's going to blow up, more so than if that stuff hadn't happened. 
Get this WWIT & Lipstick, the facility sent her home on Lithium and never told me how often she needed her blood levels monitored.  I was taking her to a psychiatrist and to her pediatrician regularly and they knew she was on it, so I figured they'd say something when blood-testing time rolled around.  It was the pharmacist who set me straight.  She'd gone 3x the normal time period between testings when I found out.   
I don't like that she's on so many meds - but they aren't ones that you can just yank a child off of.  The dosages have to be lowered slowly, adjusted over time.  I don't know if she's really bi-polar, she hasn't officially been diagnosed w/ that, but the O.D.D. gets hard at times.  They've got so many names for things I'm sick of them trying to find which one of their acronyms she fits.  I just want them to toss that aside, take a good study of HER, and treat her for the stuff she's got going on.  Some of the diagnoses she has fit to a T, and there's others that I'm not so sure of b/c there's only 1 or 2 traits of them in her.  As much as I wish she didn't have to be on any meds at all, if there truly is an imbalance of chemicals going on and that's the only way to solve it so she can succeed in life, then I'm fine w/ it.  Sometimes other parents are shocked when I tell them all the meds she's on and they want to know why I allow it.  Well, they haven't been living in this situation trying their darndest for 11 years so they aren't at the end of their ropes!  Anyhoo...
Thanks again for the help and warm wishes.  You all rock!