Just wanted to thank all of you for the love, prayer, and advice.  Also wanted to give you an update:  I think I may have stated before that at times I feel so overwhelmed with stress, emotion, and just life in general that I close myself off to anyone and everything.  Depression seems to have rooted itself inside of me (I've battled with this since I was a young teen).  Two friends recently noticed the changes in me that seemed to be spiraling out of control and intervened.  Both of these women came to me (separately) with the same message:  "You are trying to fight this battle (depression) alone because your pride will not allow you to admit your weakness.  This battle is not one of the flesh, but rather the spirit.  Your spirit is experiencing a void that only One can fill, and therefore it is weakened."

I was experiencing a void.......you see, when MK was presented as the "perfect opportunity" to me, I was questioning my faith so it seemed like a God-send.  I jumped back on the wagon and began my pursuit of a personal relationship with Christ and felt great!!!  However, as I began "climbing the ladder of success" in MK, I pushed my Christian values to the side and basically ignored any and all signs and/or messages from God.  I began feeling pretty empty and never even realized that this void was the root of it.

As I stated before, I have battled with depression since I was a young teen--I have also battled with living by The Word.  I can look back for as long as I can remember and don't see any times in my life that I walked with God for more than a few months.  The message could not have been clearer--break the cycle!!!

Ladies, my husband, children, and I visited a new church yesterday--one that we have been invited to on many occassions.  I was so moved and unable to control the overwhelming emotions that I had been trying to hide--it felt great!  My children really enjoyed the service as well.  My husband has a little thicker skin--he was raised Catholic and feels that worship should be in more of a medatative state rather than outward joy, but we talked about it and he supports my needs in worship, just as I want to support and respect his.  Neither of us will pressure the other into any religion or beliefs, but have decided that we will attend services as a family--at both churches.  I don't expect the journey to be easy--but I do believe that without Christ at the center of our marriage, we are doomed for failure.........and that's just not an option!

Thanks for listening!

Oh Kathy and DOne 

My heart aches to see you both going through this, but I REJOICE because God is in the works!

Thanks for sharing, i will be praying for both of you!